did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
