ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
