I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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