Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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