Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
