I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
