I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
