I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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