i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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