Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
