We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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