remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
