Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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