so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
