I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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