just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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