shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
