Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
