What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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