5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
