What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
