it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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