he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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