Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
