Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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