no, he came in my armpit
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
