Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
