Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
