Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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