there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
