She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
