Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
