just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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