I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
