Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
