Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
