are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
