OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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