Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
