no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
