I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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