just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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