when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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