I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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