I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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