Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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