Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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