ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
