i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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