I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
