ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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