Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
