is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize