i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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