In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
