your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
