i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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