My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
