Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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