If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
